Early maladaptive schemes
Ways in which I learned to function during the early stages of my life, that were since then self-perpetuated through my behavior. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schema_therapy Wikipedia]'' says:'' Schema'Schema modes are momentary mind states which every human being experiences at one time or another.7 A schema mode consists of a cluster of schemas and coping styles. Life situations that a person finds disturbing or offensive, or arouse bad memories, are referred to as "triggers" that tend to activate schema modes. In psychologically healthy persons, schema modes are mild, flexible mind states that are easily pacified by the rest of their personality. In patients with personality disorders, schema modes are more severe, rigid mind states that may seem split off from the rest of their personality. (Aha! this might be why i see mindsets as very much separated from each other rather than intertwined) ' domains are five broad categories of unmet needs into which are grouped 18 early maladaptive schemas identified by Young, Klosko & Weishaar (2003): The ones I bolded are the ones that apply to me # Disconnection/Rejection includes 5 schemas: The essence of this schema domain is about a general expectation that your basic needs will be met by others in an unpredictable or inconsistent way. Many people who identify with schemas within this domain come from families perceived as cold, detached, explosive, lonely, abusive, or rejecting. ## Abandonment/Instability ## Mistrust/Abuse ## Emotional Deprivation ## Defectiveness/Shame ## ''Social Isolation/AlienationThis EMS involves a deep sense of feeling isolated from the world, disconnected from other people, and not feeling a sense of social belonging to any group or community. ''This is also something I see in myself not because i feel isolated because i'm unworthy/bad, but because i simply see myself as different and it's making me be a lone wolf and distance myself from people just because i think we don't live in the same world. # Impaired Autonomy and/or Performance includes 4 schemas: ## Dependence/Incompetence ## Vulnerability to Harm or Illness ## Enmeshment/Undeveloped Self ## Failure # Impaired Limits includes 2 schemas: This domain is related to a general lack of responsibility to others, internal limits, and/or future goals. EMS’s categorized within this schema domain tend to result in difficulty cooperating with others, respecting their rights, and making commitments. People who identify with the following EMS’s may come from families characterized by a permissive parenting style, overindulgence, lack of guidance/direction, or a sense of superiority, accompanied by parental failure to set limits related to taking responsibility or healthy confrontation. As a child, you may not have been pushed to learn to tolerate normal levels of discomfort or given appropriate guidance or direction (and thus did not learn how to do these things). Oohohoho, clearly so. '' ## ''Entitlement/Grandiosity ## ''Insufficient Self-Control and/or Self-DisciplineThis schema involves significant difficulty or refusal to demonstrate adequate self-control and to tolerate frustration/discomfort in the service of achieving goals. There may be a focus on avoiding discomfort (pain, conflict, overexertion, responsibility, or confrontation) with the potential cost of personal fulfillment of goals or relationships. ''Yes! I'm just trying to understand that life is all about the struggle, about riding the wave, it's a normal part of life and it's fine, but i'm uncomfortable with and stressed by the smallest acts of existence right now like having to go take a shower But I learned that it's all about finding balance in the chaos, not in putting the chaos together. life is a continuous flow, it's always moving. it's always stressful if you try to make it just stop. also, not possible. or pleasant, or rewarding. it's all about the things you're willing to struggle for. # Other-Directedness includes 3 schemas: This domain tends to present itself with an excessive focus on the wants, needs, desires, and reactions of others (at the cost of your own needs). Sacrifices tend to be made in hopes of gaining love and approval or maintaining relational ties to others. Many children who develop the following EMS’s come from families who show conditional acceptance, which can result in denying or over-representing parts of yourself in hopes of gaining love/acceptance. Many parents within these families tend to place their own emotional needs/desires or social status/acceptance above the needs of their children (consciously or otherwise). ## Subjugation ## ''Self-SacrificeThere may be excessive focus on going “above and beyond” to meet the (real or imagined) needs of others, while sacrificing your own gratification/needs in the process. There may be internal motivations related to desires to avoid causing pain to others or guilt from feeling selfish in some way. This EMS may develop into an underlying sense that your own needs are going unmet (and are possibly unvocalized to others), followed by increased resentment toward the recipients of your self-sacrifices. ''I'm definitely getting better at this, but for me it's difficult to even accept that i might have needs in the first place. And that it's fine. And that it's fine to vocalize them. It's also very good to understand that even if I have needs, it's fine for others to say they won't help me meet them. Everyone has their boundaries, and while establishing mine I will encounter those of the others. I'm responsible for myself, and they are for themselves. There has to be a middle ground, though, agh, depends on the situation. ## Approval-Seeking/Recognition-Seeking''This schema is related to placing an excessive amount of importance on recognition, attention, or approval from others (at the expense of developing a mature and authentic self). Self-esteem may be rigidly tied to the (actual or perceived) reactions from other people, as opposed to trusting your own intuition or inclinations. For some, this EMS manifests itself through attempting to meet these deep needs by overly emphasizing money, appearance, status, power, or prestige. The focus here is basically about the earnest need for approval and recognition, as opposed to seeking power or control. ''It wasn't marked by the test, but I somehow see myself in it because I can't help but still see the world through the lens of the others that I've been mostly seeing life through until recently. It wasn't about the things that pleased me or I found authentic and enjoyable (because of the having needs is the devil thing, gah), but about the things that those around me (micro or macro scale, from family to the internet) kind of projected upon me. Nowadays I am gaining more insight into what matters to me, what I truly feel, value and respect. # Overvigilance/Inhibition includes 4 schemas: This domain includes schemas that share common themes of suppressing spontaneous emotions/decisions/impulses or focusing on a deep desire to adhere to rigid rules and expectations regarding ethical behavior and performance. The basic cost is authentic happiness, inner peace, overall relaxation, and meaningful relationships. These schemas may develop within families who are demanding (perhaps punitive), hide/avoid emotions, require perfection/high achievement, and place emphasis on avoiding mistakes over happiness and relaxation. There may be a basic fear that without strict adherence to these rigid rules/standards, things may “fall apart.” ## Negativity/Pessimism ## ''Emotional InhibitionThis involves overly suppressing forms of spontaneous emotional expression, action, or communication out of fear that these expressions of emotion will result in shame, disapproval, rejection, or loss of impulse control. Commonly, attempts may be made to inhibit: anger/aggression, positive impulses (spontaneous expressions of joy/happiness), and vulnerability/open communication about feelings or needs. There may also be a proclivity toward an overemphasis on rationality with a disregard for emotions. ''Well, yes. Until recently I considered emotions a weakness. However, in suppressing my emotions I end up bottling them and although i try to keep a rational structure they explode at times and places instead of being channeled through and towards various mediums. Also, I'm kind of out of touch with them. Hope they'll call me back one day! A thing my psych said is to do a self check that pairs emotions with reason (which I'm not willing to give up at any expense) I should ask myself the following questions: What do I feel? What do I need? What would be good for me? - in order to do a reality check on those emotions. ## Unrelenting Standards/Hypercriticalness''This is an EMS characterized by a deep belief that you must meet incredibly high standards (performance/behavior) in order to avoid criticism. You may experience feelings of pressure, notice difficulty slowing down, and hypercriticalness/unrealistically high standards of yourself and others. This schema may present itself outwardly as perfectionism, excessive attention to detail, rigidity toward behavioral, moral, or ethical rules/standards, or a preoccupation with time and efficiency (in hopes of getting more accomplished). ''Is this a loop where being very grounded in my values goes against my values? Hah. Anyway, yes, I'm very self critical and I feel like I'm a waste of a human if I spend too much time doing nothing. Which gives me even more anxiety to do something in general! So I stress out, and end up not doing anything! It's a party! Anyway, I've been working on this and on accepting myself, while still not straying from my path. Accepting myself doesn't mean learning to be okay doing nothing, it means listening to myself in terms of what i want to do, need to do and should do. ## Punitiveness Category:Early maladaptive schemes Category:Childhood Category:Fundamentals